Singleness – is it a burden or a blessing?
Each of us who are single would likely give a different answer to that question depending on when we were asked. And both answers would be correct. Singleness, like marriage (and almost every other aspect of life), has its burdens and its blessings.
When I feel my singleness is a burden it’s often because I’m not seeing it from God’s perspective and design. At other times it’s because I haven’t been connected enough with others and it’s time to pick up the phone and call a close friend or plan for interaction with others.
In general, I’ve found that …
Singleness is a BURDEN when I:
- focus on what I don’t have.
- squander my freedom on self-pity.
- view being single as being “less than.”
- complain about my life.
- think my life doesn’t have purpose.
- think I’m a failure.
- spend too much time isolated from others.
- don’t invest enough time in my closest relationships.
- am not focusing on how all-satisfying my relationship is with Jesus.
Singleness is a BLESSING when I:
- focus on the abundance I have!
- use my freedom to relate to God without distraction.
- view my singleness as being a valuable asset to me, to others, and to the Body of Christ.
- express gratitude about my life and all I’ve been given.
- know and live God’s unique purpose for which He created me!
- realize how much God has accomplished through me!
- spend time relating to others.
- invest in my closest relationships.
- grow in my relationship with Jesus and in experiencing how all-satisfying He truly is!
Perspective is the Key
Perspective is an amazing thing! Many times in my life the “blues” have lifted simply because my perspective changed, even though nothing else in my life changed a bit. I have learned that the enemy of my soul loves nothing better than to get me to view my life negatively rather than positively. Negative feelings will bring my pursuit of life and purpose to a grinding halt quicker than anything, and prevents me from living a joyful life to the full!
There’s a quote by Roy Lessin I have gone to again and again over the years to remind me when my perspective isn’t coming from God and needs adjusting:
“When the Good Shepherd speaks to His own, He never uses words of despair, hopelessness, frustration, defeat, discouragement, fear, confusion, or failure. Instead, He gives His sheep words of hope, rest, victory, peace, power, joy, triumph, and love.” —Roy Lessin
When I am feeling in despair, hopeless, frustrated, defeated, discouraged, fearful, confused, or that I’m a failure – I know my perspective is not God’s. Even if I need correction in my life, His correction always comes with hope, never with despair. Truth – which is God’s perspective – always brings freedom, as Jesus said in John 8:32: “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Jesus also said that Satan seeks “to steal and to kill and to destroy,” but that Jesus came so that we “may have life and have it in abundance.” Satan wants to steal, kill, and destroy our joy and peace. He is the father of lies and makes his perspective appear to be truth so we’ll take it to heart. But when we do, we end up with negativity that sends us on a downward spiral. When we change our perspective to God’s, we are freed from that negativity and instead experience hope, rest, victory, peace, power, joy, triumph, and love!
How are you viewing your life, whether it is being single or some other aspect? Is it a positive view or a negative view? What helps you the most to change a negative perspective into a positive one, or to change a burden into a blessing?