Free to be You – Dealing with Criticism

Be who God created you to be

Criticism. We’ve all felt its sting. It indicates – to varying degrees – a lack of acceptance or approval of something we are, have said, or have done. In someone’s eyes we’ve not measured up. They’ve let us know, and it hurts.

Criticism comes in various forms – directly and verbally, gently or not so gently. Sometimes it comes more subtly through veiled comments and body language. Sometimes it finds its way to us through a third party, social media, or the grapevine. Sometimes that source is ourselves. And sometimes it is imagined. No matter what form it comes in or from where, it’s unpleasant and destructive.

Condemnation of criticism

What do we do when we find this ugly thing called “criticism” staring us in the face, sneering and condemning?

The philosopher Aristotle once said the only way to avoid criticism is to say nothing, do nothing, and be nothing. Well, there is another way. And that is to say everything, do everything, and be everything to please everyone else.

Impossible, you say?

Well, you’re absolutely right.

We’re left with only one option: Be who God created us to be, and ignore the criticism. Then, and only then, do we find freedom from criticism. Not because it ceases, but because it becomes irrelevant.

Yes, I know – that’s easier said than done. How do we do it?

Ann Voskamp has said, “The moment you stop caring what other people think — is most likely when you start doing what God wants.”

This is truth.

We need to know who God wants us to be, what He wants us to say, and what He wants us to do – and then do it. When we seek and do what He wants and has for us, He displaces the critics in the driver seats of our lives, and they are banished to the back of the bus. From there, their opinions have no effect on the direction our bus is going, and their voices become a distant murmur we ignore. Our Driver knows the way, and we trust Him. If He takes us down the road of singleness, for instance, it’s not that we’ve missed the right bus, it’s because that’s where He wants us to be for good reasons!

We humans get caught up with our measuring sticks and cookie cutters. We love to have standards by which we measure ourselves and each other. We imagine God has only one cookie cutter and has made us all the same, designing us all to dress alike, act alike, and live lives alike – with only minor variations.

Dealing with critics and criticism

The more we seek what He wants for us, though, the more we discover how differently He created us.

He has equipped me to write while He’s given you the ability to speak, fix cars, decorate cakes, make sales, teach students, milk cows, fly planes, tend to patients, build things, or look through microscopes.

He’s placed me in Virginia while you may be in Colorado, Australia, the South Pole, India, Idaho, England, Peru, or the Netherlands.

He brought me into this world in a hospital by the sea to live in a bustling tropical city, sealing my fate to be a city girl at heart who loves the tropics. While perhaps His birthplace for you was in a snowstorm out in the boonies, making you feel most at home in the north and in wide open spaces.

Free to be me!

I enjoy books, good coffee, long chats, RVing, an ocean view, and cats. While you may prefer dogs, hot tea, mountains, hiking, solitude, and football.

Many of us have never married, while many others have. Some have been widowed or divorced.

Some of us are childless while others have only one child, others have a few, and still others have many. Some adopt, others foster, while others give birth.

None of these are right or wrong. It’s what and who God created us to like, do, and be. In all of them, He has a purpose for us to fulfill. Probably multiple purposes. And these abilities, preferences, situations, and locations are the platforms and means by which He equips us to fulfill those purposes.

Consider these verses which indicate God has designed and created each person with a purpose:

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.” (Jeremiah 1:5)

“For it was You who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I will praise You because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and I know this very well…. all my days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began.” (Psalms 139:13-14, 16b)

“A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)

“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last.” (John 15:16)

“He has saved us and called us with a holy calling … which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began.” (2 Timothy 1:9)

Now is a great time to determine to be fully who God created you to be and to move forward into all that He has for you. And if you’re dealing with critics, it’s also the best way to make them take a back seat in your life.

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  1. Otho Horst says:

    Very good, Fern. God has a wonderful purpose for you. Keep writting as He gives you directions.

  2. This was a great article and I loved your saying about criticism becoming irrelevant the more we embrace who God made us to be. Wish I had had this kind of advice when I was a lot younger!

  3. You say, “Be who God created us to be, and ignore the criticism. Then, and only then, do we find freedom from criticism. Not because it ceases, but because it becomes irrelevant.” I certainly agree, if the criticism is untrue or slanderous.
    But if it has a grain of truth in it, we need to ask God for perception to see it and the wisdom to deal with it in a Christlike way.
    Love your posts, Fern! Keep them up!

    1. Fern Horst says:

      Yes, I agree Ginny. Thanks for your thoughts!