More important than what people think, though, is what God thinks. As we open the Bible and begin reading in Genesis, we see that God's command to the first man and woman is to "Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth."¹ After the world had been destroyed by the flood, God's command to Noah and his sons was once again, "Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth."² Further in Genesis we see that the great promise God gave to Abraham was that "I will make thee exceeding fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee."³ This promise/command was passed down to Isaac,⁴ and to Jacob.⁵

The emphasis of the Old Testament was the looking forward to a specific event: the coming of the Messiah. Every man and woman longed to be the parent or ancestor to this Promised One. To be denied a child was to be denied the possibility of this blessing.

As we turn the pages to the New Testament, we read that the Messiah was indeed born, grew to be a man, and through His death and resurrection became the Saviour of the world. Before He went back to heaven He gave a new command, one which was to become the new focus and purpose of our lives as Christians: "Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen."⁶

Throughout the New Testament we no longer see the command to "multiply and replenish the earth," nor do we see the lament of women who were barren. Jesus had prepared His disciples for this new emphasis and purpose for our lives when He told them, "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple."⁷ He also drove this point home when his mother and brothers came to see Him and He said, "Who is my mother? and who are my brethren?" He looked around at His disciples and said, "Behold my mother and my brethren! For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother."⁸

We see this new focus in Paul's writings as well: "But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife…. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction."⁹

So as we read through the New Testament we can see that the emphasis has shifted away from that of multiplying biologically as families, and has moved towards the importance of multiplying disciples for the Family of God. (It is important to note that Jesus did not desecrate or forbid biological families, nor does He remove the sacredness of marriage. In fact, Jesus raised marriage to a higher standard, prohibiting any remarriage after divorce, thereby holding in high honor the life-long marriage covenant.)

Our Desire to Have Children

We desire to have children for several reasons. One is because parenthood makes us "normal" and enables us to fit in with our peers who get married, have children and, in due time, have grandchildren as well.

Another reason many desire to have children is because they wish to experience the joys of having their own child. This seems to particularly affect women, perhaps because their bodies regularly remind them of their capacity for bearing a child. However, many men also have an innate desire to pass on their name, and traditionally children have been an indication of a man's strength and manhood.

A third reason we desire to have children is so that we can pass on our our values and beliefs to the next generation, leaving a heritage to our children and grandchildren.

Our Desires Fulfill God's Purpose

As we take a closer look at these basic desires for wanting to be parents—to fit in and be normal, to have the experience of reproducing biologically, and to influence future generations—we should take note that the first two are basically for our own personal fulfillment. They are at the same time God-ordained to be an innate part of us in order to guarantee that the human race will continue. It is certainly not wrong to fulfill these desires if we can do so in a godly way and with a godly mate who will be committed to this life-long task along with us. Having a child within the perimeters which God has commanded requires the cooperation of another individual as well as the cooperation of our own bodies, neither of which we have full control. Making this a goal for our lives can bring much frustration as it is in many ways out of our own hands to fulfill.

However, the third desire we have for having children—to influence future generations—is not only a goal we can work towards, it is part of God's New Testament command to "go and make disciples." It is a desire and a goal we can fulfill whether married or single. In fact, as Christians, it is far more than a desire and a goal—it is a command which Jesus gave us.

Fulfilling this command is not optional.

For those who marry and have children, parenthood fulfills this command if the couple raises their children to be disciples of Christ. It involves much personal sacrifice and giving up of one's own aspirations for the benefit of the child(ren).

For those who don't marry, or who have had the raising of their children taken out of their hands, fulfilling this command is still their responsibility as Christians. In fact, there is a possibility that they can influence their own and future generations in a more far-reaching way than having and raising their own biological children, if they use their freedom to do so. Accomplishing this involves great personal sacrifice and putting aside of personal aspirations, just as parenthood does. Paul, a single spiritual "parent", referred to this lifestyle as a sacrificial and yet joyous one: "Yea, and if I be offered upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I joy, and rejoice with you all."¹⁰

Each Christian a Parent

Whether married or single, every Christian is called to reproduce and be a spiritual parent to spiritual children. God calls some individuals to sacrifice the human pursuit of having biological children in order to be available to be spiritual parents to those "little ones" in Him who need nurturing and discipling. The Lord has often inspired and encouraged me with the principles found in Isaiah 54, especially since the illustration used is that of a woman who has not given birth: "Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the LORD. Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thine habitations: spare not, lengthen thy cords, and strengthen thy stakes; For thou shalt break forth on the right hand and on the left."

The filling of one's life with spiritual "children" comes only as we enlarge our "tents". There are many ways to do this, but it mainly involves putting ourselves in a position where we can produce spiritual children, and having a willing and submissive heart to be used in this capacity. The possibilities are endless, and we can certainly use the uniqueness of our own personalities and talents to creatively reproduce for the Family of God.

The New Testament has several examples of spiritual parents. The Apostle John, who was apparently single, wrote, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth."¹¹ Paul referred to Timothy as "my son": "Thou therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus."¹² He also said that he had "begotten" Onesimus: "I beseech thee for my son Onesimus, whom I have begotten in my bonds."¹³ We have no indication that either of these men had biological children, and yet their spiritual children were many. In fact, many of us today are spiritual descendents of both Paul and John!

Parenthood — Our Highest Calling

Motherhood is indeed the highest calling of womanhood, if we mean the motherhood of giving birth to spiritual children and nurturing disciples for Christ. Biological motherhood is one opportunity of nurturing spiritual disciples, but there are also many others.

Passing on one's name is the highest calling in life for a man if we mean passing on his identity as "Christian" to those whom the Lord gives him to bring into God's Family of believers and to disciple along until they, too, are able to "father" spiritual children.

Isaiah also uses the metaphor of a single man: "Neither let the eunuch say, Behold, I am a dry tree. For thus saith the LORD unto the eunuchs that keep my sabbaths, and choose the things that please me, and take hold of my covenant; Even unto them will I give in mine house and within my walls a place and a name better than of sons and of daughters: I will give them an everlasting name, that shall not be cut off."¹⁴

Mother's Day and Father's Day may always present certain emotional difficulties for many of us. But knowing that spiritual parenthood is a calling for every Christian, and knowing that in so doing we are fulfilling God's purpose for us, we can be sure that we will indeed leave a heritage for coming generations, even for eternity, that is better than that of sons and daughters.

NOTES:
¹Gen. 1:28, ²Gen. 9:1, ³Gen. 17:6, ⁴Gen. 28:3, ⁵Gen. 35:11, ⁶Matt. 28:19-20, ⁷Lk. 14:26, ⁸Matt. 12:48-50, ⁹I Cor. 7:29-35, ¹⁰Phil. 2:17, ¹¹III Jn. 1:4, ¹²I Tim. 2:1, ¹³Philemon 1:10, ¹⁴Isa. 56:3-5

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