This blog post is written by Shari Baer, a life coach who is offering coaching to the Purposeful Singleness community. You can read more about her services here.
Someone just recently asked me what I see is the major problem for singles I coach, versus those who are married. While you might think the answer would be loneliness, I’ve found more of the married people I coach to be truly lonely than many of the singles. As Fern has mentioned in her articles, loneliness is often a result of the lack of knowing one’s purpose and living their purpose rather than the lack of a spouse.
The most common concern of the singles I coach is feeling stuck and at a loss about how to move forward. Even when they know their purpose, there are times they just need someone to help them figure out their next step – no matter how little or big that step may be. Having a coach come alongside and ask pointed and direct questions helps them figure out their next step.
A coach’s role is not to give answers, but simply to ask the questions which help a person figure out their best next step. It is much more powerful when a person figures out their own solution rather than having someone advise them on their next step. When it is the individual’s idea, they take ownership because deep down they really do know what works best for them. Other people’s ideas, which may have worked in their lives, doesn’t necessarily work for everyone. A coach helps each person discover what works best for them.
The Lord has given each of us unique, incredible, and often amazing ways of figuring out our next steps. Coaching singles is a true joy for me. It is so fun to see that light bulb come on in their “aha” moment when they discover that deep down they had the solution. What a great feeling to be moving again in a positive and life-giving direction!