My church just purchased a building to start an entire singles church, but I believe its more geared to the 20's and 30's crowd. There's a large singles population in our area who aren't being reached at our main church location, which is why my Pastor has seen this need. We have a special worship service at our main campus called, "Frontline" that is for this same singles age group.
I'm glad others are feeling this way. This is not just an issue in smaller churches. I'm 45, childless and have never been married. I belong to what some might call a mega-church with a thriving singles ministry that has only recently included those of us in our 40's in what they call the "FUEL" small group ministry--those mainly consisting of singles who have never been married. We already had a small group for singles 40 and over, but I still felt out of place because most seemed significantly older than me and had been married and raised children to adulthood. I'm not sure what the solution is other than to become the voice for the "middle ground" singles in one's church; starting a singles ministry that UPLIFTS this life stage in agreement with the Word and which encourages purposeful Christian living while we're in it; and PRAYER for God to lead us into fellowships where we don't feel so out of place or unable to grow spiritually. I don't at all believe the pastor who stated that singles just weren't interested in ministry in his church. When singles become purposeless or non-existent in a church, its because our needs are not being met and our value is not being utilized.
I don't think certain married couples or parents realize how often they discuss their marriage and family in their fellowships and even steer every spiritual discussion along those lines. It's completely understandable because their lives are centered in those areas, but too much of any temporal focus can cause those who have never experienced the same realities feel "unrelatable", "less than" or invisible. I suspect this may be a larger concern within all women fellowships since the Church tends to uplift motherhood and being married as the ultimate spiritual and life role for women. That makes it harder on us--especially as we age and still can't jump in with similar stories about our "DH" and every milestone in our children's lives.
Even when not called to singleness, we singles need to be exposed to other singles who are living a fulfilled and purposeful life for Christ, so that we can witness the beautiful truths Apostle Paul taught concerning how singleness can become a time of greater spiritual consecration, service and intimacy with Jesus. It seems that whenever I find a singles ministry online, the most active participants are those who can't focus on anything beyond marriage and dating--usually with complaint or discouragment. Rather than seeing Jesus Himself, Jeremiah, Apostle Paul and Mary Magdalene as role models, we so often look around at couples and families and feel we're missing out on God's best. Others are no more than meat markets or social clubs where no one appears to be seeking a more purposeful or consecrated life in Christ.
I agree that ages and life stages need not segregate us in our spiritual fellowship. If we are involved in truly Spirit-filled, CHRIST CENTERED fellowship, then we singles will receive what we need--as the Holy Spirit moves and directs each member to edify individuals or the group. We can even relax and trust Him to connect us to our soul mate in His appointed time. Although my church seems to have a small groups for every known category imaginable, I've chosen to belong to the small group that includes ages from teen to senior citizen, both genders, those from a variety of racial and international backgrounds, singles and married couples. We even have a single woman who adopted an orphan from overseas. We were able to prayerfully walk alongside her through that lengthy and intense journey. I have felt most spiritually and emotionally edified in this group because the broad backgrounds and ages make it feel inclusive and broaden the focus. Our focus becomes Christ Himself and our Christian walk rather than Christ or our Christian walk as they pertain to our age and life stage. And I've wonderfully discovered that God has used the married women and men to encourage me in my struggles with singleness.
