Johnny,
Ok, if I'm reading your posts right, you were having marriage problems, & then you were unfaithful to her, correct?
I posted a reply to you in another section, about divorce, with verses included. (that was before I read this post) I won't add to that, unless I need to. But, they're avail upon request. In short, your cheating/adultery is grounds for divorce---NOT that she *HAS* to, but she does have that Biblical option. Remember where the Bible says, that we reap what we sow? There are consequences for sin, sometimes even in this life.
Have you gone to her, confessed your sin, & sought reconciliation?
Confessing sins is not easy, but, the Bible commands it. I would also offer to get counseling, if I was you. I would highly recommend both of you get family counseling, if she is willing.
Otherwise, even if she were willing to reconcile to you, & heal the marriage, you'd still be in similar problems.
The *MOST* important thing you can do right now, *REGARDLESS* of what she chooses to do (remember, we don't control other people, *ONLY* ourselves!) is get right with God.
Dating non-Christians, & those who profess, but don't follow Christ, will only take you further away from Jesus. Are you familiar with the warnings Proverbs gives men, about women? A woman can help you stay true to Jesus, *OR*, she can lead you away from Him, if you let her.
God is still there, but, hopefully you know, that many places the Bible talks about how sin separates us from God. God is a Holy God, & He cannot be in the presence of sin. If you want to be close to Him again, & have Him close to you again, you need to do your part, to get right with Him.
Read James 4:
"4 Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
5 Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, "The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously"?
6 But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: "God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble."
7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. "
Look at the order there. Don't expect to be a friend of the world, & a friend of God, at the same time. (remember, no man can serve 2 masters?)
We must humble ourselves; forsake the world; Submit to God (that means obeying His commands) THEN resist the Devil; THEN Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.
See the order?
RX is right----you can't change the past----NONE of us can. (God knows, there's some things in my life, I wish I could change!)
All you can change, all you can control, is *TODAY*.
I love the Psalms:
"6 Oh come, let us worship and bow down; Let us kneel before the Lord our Maker.
7 For He is our God, And we are the people of His pasture, And the sheep of His hand. Today, if you will hear His voice:
8 "Do not harden your hearts, as in the rebellion, As in the day of trial in the wilderness."
(Psalms 95)
In the past, you have hardened your heart against God. BUT, it is not too late!!! TODAY, can be different. TODAY, you can make a different choice. The CHOICE IS YOURS.
BTW, when I start feeling sorry for myself, when I start thinking woe is me, I'm single & alone & my life sucks, etc etc etc, sometimes I like to read Hebrews 11 & 12. (some people think 11 is a good chapter, but never get to 12---Remember, the translators put in the chapters, NOT the writer!
(this is a small excerpt:)
"35 Women received their dead raised to life again. And others were tortured, not accepting deliverance, that they might obtain a better resurrection.
36 Still others had trial of mockings and scourgings, yes, and of chains and imprisonment.
37 They were stoned, they were sawn in two, were tempted, were slain with the sword. They wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, tormented
38 of whom the world was not worthy. They wandered in deserts and mountains, in dens and caves of the earth.
39 And all these, having obtained a good testimony through faith, did not receive the promise,
40 God having provided something better for us, that they should not be made perfect apart from us.
WOW! Did you get all that??? You & I buddy, we have it *EASY*!!!
But wait, don't stop, there's MORE:
"1 Therefore we also (who?, US!!!), since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, (HOW are we to run??? WITH ENDURANCE!!! Remember what Jesus said? "But he who endures to the end will be saved." [Matt 10:22] Rx is right----FINISH the race. Don't give up now!!! I have in my notes about this verse: "[THE CHRISTIAN LIFE IS NOT A SPRINT!!!
It's a MARATHON!!! ]"
Keep reading:
2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith,
(this is *HOW* we are to finish the race----God tells us right here! We have to keep our eyes on JESUS!!!)
who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, (talk about suffering!) despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
3 For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.
4 You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.
[Chapter 12---intro.]
I hope that helps brother. You have friends on this board who care about you. Keep your eyes on Jesus. Stay close to Him. In this life, sometimes HE is all we have, & in the next, He alone, is the one we will give account to.
