Should anyone choose to be married?

[Xenoglossa]

Why or why not?

[Rx]

Should anyone choose to be married?

Thats... a serious question. I feel a dissertation coming on, XeG.

Maybe the best answer is these:

"...It is not good that the man should be alone..." - God

"Now for the matters you wrote about:
It is good for a man not to marry.
But since there is so much immorality,
each man should have his own wife,
and each woman her own husband." -1 Cor. 7

" Has not the LORD made them one?
 In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one?
 Because he was seeking godly offspring." -Malachi

"...Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy."  -Paul of Tarsus

"This is a great mystery:
 but I speak concerning Christ and the church" Ephesians 5:32

It's too easy to interpret the ache for companionship
 as a requirement for marriage.
 But it might well be the best answer,
in lieu of helping out in an orphanage.

 "Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him." (Matt. 6:8)

[Arden]

We don't even get past the first couple chapters in the Bible before the Lord says, It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. I believe the desire for a relationship with the opposite sex is built in humans. Disappointment sometimes causes people to give up on marrriage. If I never marry, I know God can make up the difference. The Bible says he'll be our mother, our father, our sister and our brother. Another verse says he'll be our husband. Can someone find these these scripture references? For some reason I can't.  This is probably a sign I should be following the read the bible in a year program.

[Dutchy]

God does not literally say to individual persons that He will be our husband. That would also be meaningless to the male singles among us, who'd prefer to be husbands themselves. Jesus says in Marc 3:35 that everyone who believes in Him will be considered as His brother, sister or mother (but not father). God will be the husband of His bride, the church as a whole.

[Rx]

God will be the husband of His bride, the church as a whole.

Amen. Thanks for these insights gang!   
(First I'll toss into the mix the link to Mark that you shared: Same as Matthew 12:46-50.)   I like how he added that his sisters were there, in the crowd also, even tho it was only his mother and brothers looking for him.

But this is a central THEME of Christianity, not just a few good scriptures.

 Sure seems like the atmosphere gets sucked of the face of Earth sometimes, when that fellowship is lacking.

I remember arriving at a foreign airport:  No one there to meet me; Never been there before; And a half day trip to find the town where I was going; And finally after the sun had set I walk up this heinously rocky, steep driveway that winds up thru the jungle toward a light,  and there at the top of the hill, is this tent full of God's people singing their guts out, songs that I already know, and a spirit of worship that is the same the world over.

  What a family.  What a blessing;  since the region was NOT without hostiles. But thats just like God to walk with us and guide us thru the unknown and land us in a haven, when we deserve a cold dark, rocky hill side in a strange land, where 6 inch long Millipedes and other big ugly creepy crawlers are the minor concerns, where YOU are on the menu.  Is there a metaphor in all that?  Then maybe life on Earth IS the metaphor and heaven the promise of literal and better.

 Maybe metaphors are as truthful as the bite of a cane across the back, but easier to take to heart.

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. Psalm 68:5

..."you will call me 'my husband';
       you will no longer call me 'my master'...
Hosea 2:16

[Rx]

This is good also:

But those who are considered worthy of taking part in that age and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage, and they can no longer die; for they are like the angels. They are God's children, since they are children of the resurrection. But in the account of the bush, even Moses showed that the dead rise, for he calls the Lord 'the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. Luke 20:35-37

[Hawk]

As opposed to chronically dating or living together for years with no wedding in sight? Yes, a couple should get married if the opportunity is there and the situation is right. How does anyone get to that point where a choice has to be made? No response required. It's a great mystery.
There's a commercial on American television that flashes to the future and shows the U.S. president and his gray-haired parents in the crowd. Then it drifts back in time. From the platform, the dude makes eye contact with this attractive stranger on the train. He changes his itinerary, boards the train and sits across from her. They continue to make eye contact. Fast-forward to the wedding and future president to be born.
All right, so that's dramatic. Without people choosing to be married, there's no foundation to continue populate the world. I don't know for sure, but I bet many people's frustration is not even being put into that situation. It's never been for them take it or leave it (it being the opportunity to get married).

[Xenoglossa]

I feel a dissertation coming on, XeG.

Perhaps after 30 more years of research. At the moment, this topic makes me 

Right.

Gen 2:18 has been quoted twice, and it was also the first passage quoted, so I'll start there.

It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.

If anyone ought to get married, Adam and Eve seem the best candidates. After all, they were told to fill the earth and subdue it, and that's a mighty big task for only two people to accomplish. But even here it seems one could doubt the necessity of Adam and Eve to consummate their marriage.* Instead of rearing children, could they not have channeled all their energy into a scientific exploration of creation, eventuating in the ability to clone themselves, or even the ability to create artificial, ancestorless humans, and then fill and subdue the earth without ever getting married? This is an incredible hypothesis, but I hope it sheds some light on the gap between being a helper suitable and being a wife; i.e., a wife is a suitable helper for what? And why can't someone do on his or her own whatever it is a spouse helps one to do?

Also, the text says that it is not good for the man to be alone. (Note the definite article). Can we infer from this that it isn't good for any man to be alone? Let's assume that this passage does mean that Adam ought to have chosen to marry Eve. Then what conditions made that choice morally obligatory, and do those conditions that obtained for Adam concerning this choice obtain for anyone else?

*Adam and Eve might be a special case if Eve's having been created from Adam's rib entailed that they were already married--in which case their marriage wasn't a matter of choice, and the point is moot.

[Rx]

"

Hey ! ! Add a couple tremendous handfuls of serious facial fuzz and that could be me.  You definitely picked the right icon for this topic in any case.

On the issue of it not being "good to be alone",  I honestly think working with orphans my well render the same good effect on the soul as a dearly beloved partner. But regardless, being alone is "not good".  Maybe moreso for men, since they SEEM to tend less aptly toward relationships of a more general nature. You end up with a "house swept clean" where the void of accountability and responsibility might, and often does, open the door to some very ugly morphing.

I dont pretend to know ALL about why it  MOSTLY seems more compelling for us to cultivate deeper relationships with the opposite sex. Maybe its homophbia to some degree. Maybe the more "WHOLE" people are more comfortable with a "balance". But born in brokeness or not, I believe there is a very basic desire for embrace by every soul, and when that is repressed --or oppressed-- suddenly Paul's warning takes on the face of reality.

I think we can do a lot for each other in that area by simply giving place to kind expressions of endorsement and love, since everyone Im aware of has it so scarcely under wraps regardless.  Generally, the harm comes from not heeding pure limits for that expression, married or not.

Truely: Companions are for companions; but marriage is for children.


Greater love hath no man than this,
 that a man lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:13

[Johnny1979]

So is it a sin to be marriage and not want children?

[Rx]

So is it a sin to be marriage and not want children?

  If you plan to be "MORE" than a companion to your virgin, you should plan to have children, not because it is a requirement to have children, but because "it happens".

Fertility can rarely be made lower than a 2% likelihood, on average.  And since we don't gamble with a child's life, even if the chances were  a fraction of 1% it would be unfair to take the gamble.

 When speaking of firearms, you dont "point the gun" at a human, unless you are prepared to kill them.  Why is a child's life different, just because adults have rights?

 And perhaps I should re-state that I believe a non-vigin is always "joined", as nearly as I understand scripture.  Joined by God.

"I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink"
 - The King

[Johnny1979]

but if you dont want kids thats your choice and its not a sin. Besides being a christian is hard enough

[Johnny1979]

Look to me life is hard enough! The Lord has millions of followers to get godly froself m! He shoud not bother a child of his if sees the life would be too hard if they hard children why so he give them another trial. Im so sick of haivng to deny myself to the very core of your being and for WHAT!
Please let go get those Missionaries or people who never had a damn thing in those foreign countries to have kids they dont have much to live for anyway. I do! I have hopes dreams and desires and sometimes all JESUS does is GET IN THE DAMN WAY!
Serving him makes you miserable bitter and spiteful! He is not satisfied unless your poor miserable
and alone! I cant stand it! You hear me I said I struggled with this for 10 LONG YEARS! in my heart!
He is not worth it! Even if I do choose to follow him im not ashamed of what I said because you know what if you wanted perfection he should start making humans form the ground again instead of through the womb maybe he would not have so many problems getting obedient  children to send over seas to preach the gospel turn the other cheek and whatever hell on earth trials he has for his good pleasure!

[ThyWillBeDone]

Wow.    Johnny, my friend, I can see you are hurting.    Other posts are interesting, but yours puts a true burden on my heart.  I've addressed some other posts to you, in other sections, I hope you read them.  My heart goes out to you.    You can choose LIFE, or you can choose DEATH.    It's your choice.
Just as Joshua said, I say, "Choose you this day who you will serve, but, as for me & my house, we will serve the Lord."
Let's get some light of TRUTH in here...   Serving God does not make one miserable, spiteful, & bitter.   Just ask Corrie Tin Boom.    (one of many persecuted by the Nazis, & later in the concentration camps.)     Becoming miserable, spiteful, & bitter, is a *CHOICE* we make, in reaction to people & circumstances.     Jesus served God, & was certainly pushed by people----beaten, forced to wear a crown of thorns (literally!) CRUCIFIED (I don't know how much you know about Crucifixion, but, it's one of the most heinous forms of death known to man.    He suffered *GREATLY*, & yet, in His last moments on earth, He said "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.  (ask me for reference, or Rx could probably tell you.  I get the feeling she knows the Bible pretty well.   )

"He is not satisfied unless your poor miserable and alone!"-----That's deception.   God is not satisfied, until you hunger & thirst for HIM.     What you, & countless others fail to realize (probably not only on this website, but throughout the world!) is that *WITHOUT* Him,  we *ALL*, are poor, blind, & naked! 
[see Rev 3:17]

Johnny, Johnny.   What God wants most, is not perfection (you are correct, He could have made robots if He'd wanted to!)   He wants *LOVE*!!!!
Ask any woman-----LOVE, ***TRUE*** LOVE *ONLY* comes,  by CHOICE.
Therefore, God has given us the *CHOICE*, to serve Him, or not to serve Him;  to love Him, or not love Him.
I hope you make the right choice, before it is too late.    I pray that God will open your eyes.  It's not too late-----please, PLEASE;  As Jesus said, what does it profit a man, if he gains the whole world, & looses his own soul?

When you say gets in the way of your dreams & desires, what you really mean, is the Holy Spirit is convicting you, of what is wrong;   You have a CHOICE.     Will you heed His voice, before it's too late, or, will you allow yourself to be overcome by evil?

Jesus loves you;   BUT, because of that love, He will allow you to walk away from Him if you so choose;    He freely gives you the CHOICE.

Make no mistake:    there is a *BATTLE* going on for your soul;        Will you side for JESUS, or, are you against Him???

[ThyWillBeDone]

Rx:  "Truely: Companions are for companions; but marriage is for children."
I STRONGLY disagree.   Infact, if one has that idea, not only are they being *SELFISH*, & self-seeking if they marry, (which is *NOT* Love---1 Corin 13) BUT, that *ALSO* presupposes, that people (of either sex) who can't have children, should never get married.    BOY, is *THAT* judgmental, & hurtful!
I don't believe that is supported by the Bible at all, & I challenge you to show me otherwise.

SO, to answer your other post Johnny,
"So is it a sin to be marriage and not want children?"  No, it is not.  Children are a gift from God.    Like every gift, some are given it, & some are not.  RX, what would you say to those couples who desire children, but cannot have them?   That they should never marry?
This is not to confuse what should be an obvious issue:   Abortion is still murder.  Death is death. 
But, when Christ comes for His *BRIDE*   (the Church) He's not going to ask, "How many of you can have children?" [??!!!???!!!]
I don't have time tonight to respond to some of the other issues, but that one begged for the TRUTH.

We should desire the will of God.   If God, in His providence, allows us to be barren, it is up up to us, to shake our fist at God, & cry, WHY?
Rather, as Job said, we should say, "The Lord giveth, & the Lord taketh away;    BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD.
Stay close to Jesus.