Introductions

[Cheryl]

kwmechelle, I appreciate your honesty and though sometimes it feels good to say stuff like, "I'm ok with being single" and "I'd rather be single than bound to someone who I couldn't connect with in the Spirit." I have also felt that death would be better than living a life of singleness (I'm 23, and that just seems like a LONG way to go yet).

I actually had the experience where I met a Christian guy who was very mature and desired to know God, so I prayed about dating him when he asked me out for a month.  For awhile I was getting a peace about moving on with it and at the end of the month all of a sudden God said NO.  It broke my heart because I realized that I would obey God everytime he said NO even if that meant being single the rest of my life.  I longed for the rest of my life to be done.  I didn't consider suicide, but I truly thought if there is nothing in this world for me to hope for, than I only hope for meeting Jesus.  It was very interesting, because God used a period of complete desolation to show me the greater promises that he has in store for us, be it single in this life or married.  The Lord revealed to me His glory and the beauty of himself in a way I had never understood before, when I came to the point that truly asking for marriage is like asking for a drop of water when God will give you the ocean.  No eyes have seen, no mind has comprehended what God has in store for those who love Him. 

With that being said, do I still want to get married?!!! YES! with all my heart.  Do I get severely depressed about being single.  MOST certainly.  Singleness is suffering for those who do not desire to be single, for sure.    I want to encourage you that God has not forgotten you, is not punishing you, is not trying to be mean to you by withholding the blessing of marriage from you at this time.  At some moment you will understand his goodness to you at this time, but it might not be until you meet Him face to face.  I pray He continually reveals it to you in this life though.  I

[Poiema]

Hi Cheryl,

Thanks for the welcome. Yes, John Piper is inspiring. More often than not (Well, ok, all the time!) my heart is humbled by his passion, zeal, and perspective.  The Lord has used him to encourage many people and point their hearts to God.  I'm glad the quote was an encouragement to you. It's a good reminder to me every time I see it. 

[Poiema]

From "out there" (especially since I joined after you did!) I (and I am sure "we" on behalf of all would be fitting) extend welcome greetings to you, John. We're glad you finally got in!   

[Poiema]

Kwmechelle,

Thank you for your post. One of my favorite verses is in Psalms where it says God bends down his ear to hear us. He's not mad at you for thinking and feeling what you are.  He's beside you through those feelings and experiences.  His heart hurts when you hurt, and He understands.  I've experienced a time of great desolation of spirit, where I've told God that He needs to fill that void, that great emptiness I feel, with Himself.  Honestly?  I'm still waiting for that to happen all the way, and often my prayers are tears more than words, but that's ok. Be encouraged. I'd like to make it all better or say just the right thing to balm your heart.  I hope it helps you to know that you are not alone and that it is ok.  We serve an incredibly faithful and sovereign God. I believe that to the core of my being, even on those days when escaping the pain in this life seems like a solution.

Cheryl,

Your response was encouraging. Thank you for saying what you did. God has been teaching my heart that above all things, people, relationships, and anything else I think I want, I need Him.  In the end He is my choice, even when that means saying no to what I really, really, want but I know it is not what God wants for me.  Do you know the Sara Groves song "This Journey is My Own"?  It very powerfully encapsulates this theme. 

I'm so glad for this place to encourage and be encouraged!  I pray the Lord helps each of us to trust Him on our journeys.

[romans614girl]

I do apologize to all, I never read past the first post and thought it was just a hello thread, I came across as brash and I humbly apologize for not reading the other posts by people who are in pain about it and to you personally kwmechelle.

I am so sorry you are feeling upset and am praying  :'( this thread here is not the place to share why and what, but I was very much hurt in the past so understand.

God is listening and He cares

[mr.gum]

 hello to all, i know how you all feel ,  i am in my late 40,s  a nice guy,  a single single , godly ,  love god with all my hart
but i am stuck on a toll road of singleness  i cant get off , it,s a long lonely sometimes dark road . it hurts to see my
single friends exit . i am  happy they find the off ramps  to marriage kids  etc ,  i feel  i never well
mr gum

[andyman]

I also am in my forties and never married.  I find this site encouraging as many people face the struggles of singlehood.  I hope to post more this year and share my joys/sorrows and questions and insights too.
God bless you all.

[C_Ruth]

I have never been married, but have found that life lived for the Lord is fulfilling, regardless of the specific paths He leads us in.  I live with my widowed mother in Virginia, and we are involved in the work of Christian publishing.  I'm in my 40s, but quite a bit closer to 50 than to 40.

[Completelyloved]

Hi Everyone!

I found this site a few weeks ago and I love how honest the posts and articles have been. It's been encouraging to know that being single in my late 30's isn't the end of the world. Yes, it can be frustrating at times but I know that God is giving me everything at this time of my life. Now do I think singleness is my calling, NO!! But I am learning to appreciate my life just as it is and that is something I couldn't do before Christ.

[Neverthebride]

Hi all!

I'm sick&tired from the old forum, but wanted a slightly less depressing name this time. 
I'm female, 38, from Germany, never been married, never been in love or been in a real relationship. 
Kwmechelle, thank you for your honesty. I definitely can relate. Sometimes I don't know why I don't just give up my faith, maybe life would be easier and I wouldn't feel "inadequate" all the time.

[shea4Him]

Hi Ruth.  Except for your second sentence, we have a lot in common.  Nice to meet you.   

[kmccrary]

Hi,

I am Kyndra. I read your email and my heart was hurting for you so much. I can see where you are coming from and completely appreicate your honesty. I am sure that was hard for you to express all that you expressed with such vulnerability. I just want to encourage you. You need to know that the Lord has promised to never leave us or forsake us. Singleness truly is not a punishment. I was engaged at one point in my life but things didn't work out for me and I am single and have been since we broke up going on 5 years ago. Not only that but he has since gotten married. Can you imagine all the things going through my head? (Did i make a bad choice? What would things be like had we gotten married? etc)

A lot of people see singleness as a curse or something negative and it really was never mean to be that way. GOd uses our singless to prune us, his desire is that we would love HIM first before anything else and that we would be content w/ him alone. I think singleness is all about contentment. If you are not content single if you were ever to be in a relationship or married you would not be content with that either; the next thing you know you will want kids, then a bigger house etc etc and it goes on and on from there.

A lot of time us single women get sad and depressed because we are looking for "the one" when really we should be trying to become "the one". Someone once told me in order to get a deal we need to be a deal. Use this time of singleness to draw near to God and become a stronger beliver. I may not have been married but I have been a long term relationship and if your walk is not strong alone, walking beside another sinner in a relationship will be virtually impossible. I hope you are able to see that i send this email with love and conern for you as a sister in Christ. I hope this email encourages you. I read a book on singless that is the best book i have read on that topic and the author is actually single. I would strongly recommend reading it, hopefully it blesses you like it did me. It's called "Fine china is for single women too" Lydia Brownback. Keep me updated! Have a blessed evening!

In His Grip,
Kyndra

[johnny103068]

Don,t feel bad i,m 40.

[johnny103068]

If you don,t mind my asking are you a Roy Orbison fan i see you use the name Only Te Lonely.

[shake`]

Lately I am wondering a lot about my life and where am I heading and it's has totally made me think about my past. I do not know why that whenever I think about the future suddenly the past pops up and things get complicated. Any of you been there? HELP...