Introductions

[sheshisown]

 I  Just LOVE this new forum!    Thank you, Kelly and Fern! 

Just look at all the fun stuff we get to play  with!

I especially like smilies...  This one is cute!

I will leave y'all with this as I'm off to do those pesky errands.

2 Corinthians 5:7 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."
In Jesus ever...   bonnie

[kwmechelle]

I wanted to post to this site and allow my heart to bleed for a second- since we've been invited to share our struggles and joys in singleness. I know that I am a believer and have been so for some time. Once I used to walk with the Lord. But I haven't walked with him for some time- about two years because He never answered my prayer about my singleness. I'm 31 years old and feel that I will never get married. As an attractive woman I actually meet men all the time who show interest in me. But since they are non believers, I don't date them because they are not permissble. unlike many of you on this site, my struggle with singleness has gotten so bad that I often think about suicide.

If I were to commit suicide then I wouldn't have to suffer through singleness anymore. I wouldn't have to live the rest of my life with hopes shatterred and dreams crushed. And for me, that is what singleness is...a curse. Something given to some who desire marriage. I know that my words are sinful, and I haven't walked with the Lord in such a long time. I've gone from angry, bitter, resentful, to hurt, to all four at the same time. And I am hurt. I prayed for so long.

I must confess that I don't even desire the Lord anymore and I struggle to understand how I'm to give my heart to the one who hurt it, who destroyed dreams, who doesn't answer prayer, as if I'm ok with it. As if He's still good. Truth is I no longer believe that He is good. I believe that God is good sometimes but not all the time. And that everything that He wills for us is not always good. And if singleness is His best for me- then I prefer death- even death at my own hands.

I don't mean to be offensive. And I realize that I am in sin. I just wanted to be brutally honest and to let my heart bleed. To not pretend that I am ok with a God who shatters my deepest dreams and calls me to love him anyway as if it never even mattered to me. As if my own feelings don't matter. My feelings matter too.

Singleness hurts and most times I wish that I were dead so I wouldn't have to hurt like this anymore. And I struggle not to take my own life.  :'(

-Hurt

[kwmechelle]

I apologize for being so sinfully honest. I just wanted to be undeniably transprent with my heart.

[Elphaba776]

Hey there! Well, I'm not really new; my old username used to be Elphaba676; I didn't know I was suppose to use the same one from the other forum... oops!   

Elphie 

[romans614girl]

Hello   

Glad to be here, love the new forum.

I am totally happily single for the Lord, it is my calling.

I was married at 17 and divorced at 19 which was long before I was saved (I'm a mum of 3 teens) - I'm 37 and a half now, saved (1995) when I was 23 nearly 24 years old from witchcraft, drug addiction and violence.

I am still finding my way around here. I have been visiting here a long time, at a guess about 2 or 3 years maybe more yet never joined the forum and I thought new forum I will give it a go.

Nice to meet you all

God bless

Romans 6:14 Girl aka. Helen

[Only_The_Lonely]

Hi everyone--

I've been posting on and off for some time.  I am past 40 (don't want to reveal my actual age), and still single.   Sometimes it bothers me, especially on holidays like New Year's Eve, Christmas and the (dreaded) upcoming Valentine's Day.   Or, if I'm struggling with things like car trouble or finances: it would be nice to have a man around to help.

I especially wanted to address kwmechelle--THANK YOU for your honesty.   You don't need to apologize for saying what's in your heart; I wish a lot of Christian singles could be that blunt about not liking their singleness!   I think that, too many times, well-meaning Christians cause pain by telling those like you that "Jesus is all you need", or that "You need to be satisfied first with God", or some other similar thing.   I believe that God loves honesty, even if it's blunt; it's not trying to 'spiritualize' the pain.  I do understand the way you feel, kwmechelle.  I hope that you have others in your circle that you can 'vent and bleed' with.   If not, please feel free to email me at joshuasfan@myway.com.

Only_The_Lonely

[Dutchy]

Hi Kwmechelle,

Life can be very hard, isn't it? I'm 40 and single as well and it bothers me a lot. Please know you're not alone in this.

Please take a look at all the psalms in the Bible. Some of them are joyful and others are absolutely not. Life is broken and therefore has a lot of difficulties and that's the way it is. But take heart, it won't be forever!

Suicide is not a good idea. Maybe you think no-one would care, but there are always some people who would get hurt if you took your life, even if you don't know about them. Also, it's not good towards the Lord who has given you this life.

This life won't go forever. One day you'll pass away to go to the Messiah or the Messiah returns to us. Then there will be no sorrow, no tears. Since people won't marry each other in the afterlife: everyone will be single (or sort of "married" to the Lord, but the idea of being a bride of Christ is obviously not so appealing to men as it is to women )

One day, life will be better. Just one day......, so have patience. The Lord did not promise each of us a spouse, but He did promise to come back and be with us forever! So hold on to that, Kwmechelle! Just hold on to that! Just pray for Him to come at the right time! He will!

God's Blessing!

[kwmechelle]

Thanks Only the Lonely, and to everyone for NOT beating me over the head with a bat- which would be completely appropriate given the condition of my heart. I'm still struggling and there are times when the struggle is harder, and more painful, than other times.

I know that it is sinful to commit suicide, and I know that I will not go that route. But I have to admit there are moments when death seems easier. It would end a lot of the pain. It's hard for me as I wrestle with what some believers seem to deny- the double-edged sword. The Lord is as much as responsible for my singleness as he is for my friends' marriages. I know that Job said shall we accept the good and not the bad- which I do perceive singleness to be bad for those who don't desire it- but where is the logic of turning to the one who allows and ordains and wills and even causes our pain?

Can't that be likened to turning to the one who hurt you in order to find healing. That's an oxymoron to me. It's a struggle. I have been hurt before- like so many people in the world. Sometimes I think those past hurts are the reasons why I just don't get it.

But I do want to apologize. I don't mean to sin against the Lord or to be so full of rage. But since this is a forum for singles- both those who desire AND don't desire it- I thought I'd give my point of view from the other perspective.  For those who are content- Kudos to you! I'm not sure if I'm wrestling to be content- more like wrestling to just endure and survive.

I just wanted to shed some light on what many believers don't admit- particularly those who are married- for fear that it is blasphemy or antisemitic- singleness isn't always fun.  

[johnny103068]

Hello out there i finally got in . My name is john.

[Poiema]

Greetings, everyone!  I can't tell you how wonderful it is to come across your forum.  Years ago (and I do mean years ago!) I became acquainted with your site.  I think my head was in fairytale clouds back then, but not anymore.  I'm so thankful for a new year, so thankful that God's mercies and compassions are new to us every day, and so thankful for this good place.  Unfortunately I have traveled to some not-so-good forums, and what a comfort and balm to my heart to at last find a place of like-minded believers with which to share some of the stuff of life and singleness.  Blessings to each of you!  I'm glad to be here (as if you couldn't already tell  ) and look forward to getting to know you and interact with you.  God bless each of us with a 2009 that grows our hearts closer to Him!

[johnny103068]

Hello to you.

[johnny103068]

I hear ya there understand what your're going through i,m single myself.

[Deanna]

Hey there! Well, I'm not really new; my old username used to be Elphaba676; I didn't know I was suppose to use the same one from the other forum... oops!   

Elphie 

You're not the only one who changed (slightly), I dropped the "f" from the end of my name.  I was hoping just using my first name w/o last initial was close enough! 

[Poiema]

Thanks for the welcome, johnny103068!

[Cheryl]

I also find this site something out of the ordinary, considering my junk mail is filled with christian dating forums.  I noticed you have a quote from John Piper in your profile, Poiema he's quite the inspiration.