Welcome!

[PS Administrators]

Welcome to the new and hopefully improved forums at PS!   

We hope you'll find this new format helpful and conducive to edifying discussion.

Let us know if you have any questions or suggestions. We'd love to hear them!

Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace,
and things wherewith one may edify another.
     - Romans 14:19

[Rami]

Thanks Fern and all the administrators here.  I found this site while taking the Way of Purity course that setting the captive free gives. It was during the time this discussion board was being revised, and I eargly awaited its return.
   There are so many challenges that singles face. The single parent faces unique ones that people single without having been married face. It is a great blessing to have a place to come of safety and understanding. One of the challenges is the waiting thing that all singles face is. We must live each day with hope for the future not knowing for certain if this very human desire for a partner is ever going to be a reality, but fully present in our today.
   Living with the absence of something many people take for granted as a given in life takes the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. I look forward to continuing to grow in Christ, and appreciate this site for all the helps and encouragement.
  I also appreciate the level of honesty- we are all human beings, who trust in God to meet us in our humanness.
  I also wonder at times, if I was given a partner , if I would continue to care about single people hurting as much as I do now being one.  I hope that I do.
  Single people are precious to God in a special way. I believe He wants to give us a special measure of understanding , grace , and companionship not offered any other way. Not that married people can not be very close to Him, but having so many of our desires and needs for intimacy not being met, we are forced by this longing to either go out and sin, or run to Him to fill us. It is choice we must constantly make, every hour of every day.
   
   Thanks again,
Blessings,
Rami

[willsmom]

Hi, I am new here.  About a year ago my husband told me he didn't love me anymore and six months later he left me for another women.  We have a son that is 3 years old and he and I moved in with family.  I started going to college again and am trying to find things to fill my time and thoughts.  I'm not doing so well with this all.  I have been greatly hurt but I still him and can't help but hope that he will change his mind and give me another chance.  I just don't know what to do anymore.  I hoped I might find someone here that understands.

[Rami]

Hi! Welcome!
  I am so glad you reached out! You are not alone.
It is very good that you were able to move in with family and get that support.
You are also going back to school which is a good thing. What are you studying?

I know how you might feel. I was left at 27 to raise two  children on my own. My daughter had emotional problems that created crisis for years that I was left to deal with myself. Although it was me who did the filing of the divorce, my former husband had had many, many affairs and our marriage had been full of unkindness, mental and some physical , abuse.

It hurts. It just does. I am sorry that happened to you.I am sorry that happened to your son. I also know that your former husband will someday have to answer for his choices. God will deal with him in due time. I would not want to be in his shoes.

But, I also know that Jesus loves you, your son, and will fight for you on your behalf. He is the Defender of the ones mistreated. He is the One who will be Your Champion, a fierce warrior on your behalf, and be Your Healer, and everything else you need. 

I started going to a Christian Recovery group called, " Celebrate Recovery " that has helped me so much to over come the wounds I carried for so long. I know that having others surrounding you who can love you as is , is very important. The sense of rejection one can feel after something like this is deep, and I know it is difficult to find trustworthy people to confide in who will not dismiss your pain, but support what God is doing in you is hard to find.   I am praying God will direct you where you need to be right now.

It is also difficult in this world we live in to gain a sense of identity as a woman apart from our sexual attractiveness, and the men who desire us.  Jesus is such a beautiful Husband. He is a great leader.  This can be an exciting time for you to explore with God who He made you to be , to get a sense of your worth according to the Creator who formed you and does, no matter how it feels , has great plans for your life. He is a husband who is supportive and is delighted  to see you blossom! He is never jealous, and enjoys watching you gain confidence in the woman He created you to be. He enjoys watching you discover gifts HE placed inside you and use them.
   
He takes our mistakes, the things others do, and all the wounded places inside our souls, to fill them up with more of Himself. He fills the holes with jewels that sparkle. He even transforms our tears.  The scriptures say that God bottles our tears, and takes account of them. ( Psalm 56: He weeps with us and understands every pain deep inside our beings. In our weak moment when we feel we can no longer go on, He fills us with His strength, and empowers us to have faith when we see no possible future.

He takes everything that satan means to harm us, and blesses us for it. The Lord is always faithful. So many promises in the Bible become real, and when you need them, they are there- words in black and white to remind you of the Truth when everything seems lost, and you are afraid. The words in your Bible are your very own love letters to you personally. I pray for you that as you read your bible, that God draws you specifically to certain verses. Underline them, write them out.  Treasure them. You will see Him act them out on your behalf in your life in due time.

He will make your steps clear,guide you one step at a time, to the life He wants for you. He has great plans for you and your son. He will gather you close and surround you with His embrace, To be both your amour and your comforter.

The daily stuff is difficult and lonely raising children without a partner. The reality is that it is just purely painful.  The ways that a husband can comfort his wife aren't there and it is very frustrating,  to say the least. It is tempting to want to go and get those needs met as they can be in this world in easier and faster ways than trusting God 's timing and methods, but He will help you, and me, do that, so we will be blessed with the joy of walking with Him as He gives us, replaces and puts our lives back together again, as He knows is very best.

" Trust in Him at all times, ye people, pour out your heart before Him. God is a refuge for us." ( Psalm 62:
I pray that you look out for the little nudges that God prompts in you as you seek His next step for you right now. It may be a small group , or perhaps a woman nearby in your church who has already been down a similar pathway. God will take your attention to people , books, ministries that will bless you.

In God's eyes you are not replaceable! There is only one you and He has love for you that is like no other. His relationship with you is unique to Him.  The way you and God dance is like no other, and  the particular joy He finds in talking and communing with you He gets from no one else.

The scriptures say that God guides us , we who love Him,  with His eye. That speaks of an intimacy and closeness, and that He wants you to be so close to Him, looking at His face,  that you can sense what He wants you to do next. You know how when you are close to someone, and you are somewhere you can not speak out loud- you look at their face, and you speak without words. Their eyes speak- " look over there" or " Be patient" or " Yes, I just saw that- and I will take care of it!" and ," Stop that !" What ever it is,  we have a bond and link that nothing can destroy, not even very tough things like you are facing.


Hope to hear more from you! Thanks for letting me share and pray for you today!
Love,
Rami

[willsmom]

Thanks.

Its hard because I want to save my marriage and on occasion he says he would like to try again to.  Soon after he changes his mind again.  I am going to school to be a dental hyiegenist.  It helps me to keep my mind off things.  I still love him, I promised to love him forever.  I just don't know how to stop. :'(

[Rami]

willsmom:
  Thanks for the reply.
The medical field is a great place to find a career- no matter what everyone always needs dental work.
I know that God will guide that process with your former husband. Only God knows what the plan is and I know HE will show you.
  Isn't it great to have a personal relationship with Jesus, who knows all things past, present and future!
" Lord,
  I thank you for this woman's heart of love towards her husband. Her husband has made many foolish and destructive immature and selfish choices which have harmed her, and him, whether he realizes it now or not. I ask you to have mercy upon his soul, and to draw him to You. I ask you to reveal the sin nature he has inside him, and the cure- that is You. You love him more deeply than anyone. You died for him, so that he can live inside You forever with you.
  Do whatever is necessary to bring him into fellowship with you and to be reunited with his family, that you gave him.
  Show him what a precious and treasured gift that you have given him. Bind any evil lustful and selfish deceptive spirits that may be harassing him- cast  them far from him.

Allow him to be quiet within himself to hear You speak to his heart. Open the eyes of his heart that he may see You. Soften his heart to receive the seed of Your word and give him opportunities to hear Your Word spoken. Give him faith to receive you today.  Give him a desire to long to be the father and husband you would have him be- which he can only be if You enable him to do so.

Allow him to have a heart of brokenness, and to receive your love and forgiveness. Allow him to be consumed by your love, and to feel Your gentle Fatherly arm around him, calling out for his response.

  I thank you for this tender forgiving spirit of this woman. Help her to figure out how best to love her husband right now. Show her what boundaries she must keep at this time when her husband has left. Allow her not to be taken advantage of when she still has these strong feelings. Give her strength to do , to act towards him the way you would have her proceed- not based on feelings, but on what You instruct her to do.
  I pray that you make clear to her what she is to do each day listening for your instructions, and courage to obey what you show her is the way she should go about this.

It is Your will that what you put together not be broken. You can and do every day do miracles of healing and reconciling.  Often this process is difficult and requires strength and courage, and much patience. I know that if it is your will , you will provide her grace and the perseverance to go through that process, as she waits upon you to do the work inside him that needs to be done for them to be an intact family under your covering.
  Bless her with joy and a sense of peace no matter what choices he makes.
 
   Send her wise women who can counsel her , and intercede for her , and give her wise counsel that comes from Your spirit.
    In Jesus Name,
Amen

Blessed is she that believes. I think James Dobson's book," Love Must be Tough" would be a helpful read for you. Although my marriage was not reconciled( obviously) I found it helpful. Sometimes we very sweet , patient, loving, kind, gentle compassionate women, don't do boundaries very well.

I personally was a door mat. I wanted to so badly to nurture and comfort I had a difficult time drawing lines. I wanted to please so badly that I lost respect in his eyes, allowing him to "get away" with behavioral that was intolerable.
I do not know you , so I don't know if you also are on the too soft side, but it might help you have a game plan for dealing with his fickleness. God would not have you be used when he wants a little love, and then played with .
   You are valuable, and so is the honor of being a Dad.
I do pray that God heals this and that your family can be joined again, in health and in His order.
Sometimes God does use pain to break into someone's heart. You husband may need to fully lose access to you to realize what he has lost.
  You are His princess no matter what happens- and He will take care of you. I love that about God. When we choose Him, no matter how things unfold, its always beautiful.
   I pray that you enjoy your days in the school, and that you have fun with your son! You are very blessed.
Blessings,
Rami