By Fern Horst
It’s just so awful! I can’t believe she’s dead! And she had a husband and four small children left without her. Why couldn’t it have been someone without a family?”
We often hear such sentiments expressed after young husbands or wives are killed in an accident, or an illness or disease shortens their lives. It seems obvious that such individuals’ lives had purpose, and that their deaths leave a void in other peoples’ lives.
Many singles wonder what they’re alive for if they aren’t going to have the responsibilities of a spouse and children. It’s a horrible feeling — that sense deep down that if you weren’t here it wouldn’t make much of a difference, and that perhaps it may even be better for some people if you weren’t around.
But that feeling is a lie. Even if someone has told you that, or several people have, or it was implied by an unthoughtful comment, it’s still a lie. Because the One who created you, who gave you life, and continues to sustain that life, has a completely different perspective. Not one of us could be here without Him, nor continue to have life without Him. As long as He gives us life, He has a purpose for our lives. It is a very limited perspective which says that only those who are married, or who have children, or have whatever else we may think makes people important, are significant and have purpose.
If you doubt that you are significant and have a purpose for being here, or the fact that the Lord of the Universe loves you and wants you, take a second look at this story, and what He did for you.
In the beginning
In the very beginning everything was perfect. God made a man and a woman in His image and without sin. They didn’t think any negative thoughts towards each other, or say unkind words, or have any capacity to hurt each other. Their world was perfect. (How much do we as singles long for such perfection in relationships!) Adam and Eve lived in a beautiful garden where there were no weeds or death of any kind. Everything grew in abundance without their needing to work for it. Since God created them to live forever, their bodies were perfect; they never got sick and their bodies showed no signs of aging. Perhaps most wonderful of all, they had a close relationship with God and were able to speak with Him. There was nothing to cause them to doubt Him or His love for them. Their world was complete: they had God, and they had each other — a scenario most humans long for but don’t have.
Sin enters the picture
But unfortunately this perfect picture did not last long. Satan soon tempted Eve and Adam to eat the one fruit in the garden God had told them not to. As soon as they did, the perfectness of their relationship with God and with each other was destroyed. They started blaming each other rather than realizing their own wrong-doing. The beginning of difficulty between the sexes had begun. Their entire wonderful world was shattered and death became a reality. No longer would they or the plants and animals live forever on earth.
Immediately Adam and Eve desperately tried to make things right again. They suddenly realized they were naked and tried to clothe themselves. They felt terribly guilty and tried to hide from God in order to escape His displeasure with them. Today, people are still desperately trying to fill that gap between themselves and God. Because God created us to be in a relationship with Him, a big void remains when we aren’t. Some people try to fill that emptiness with doing good things — going to church, helping the homeless, having good morals, and trying to live a good life. Other people try to cover up the emptiness by looking for a relationship, having sex, or binging on food, alcohol, drugs — anything that will help to distract them from the emptiness.
God provides a Bridge
The only way to fill that void in our hearts, and to bridge the gap between ourselves and God, is to accept the “Bridge” God provided for us to reach Him. That Bridge is Jesus Christ, His death on a cross, and His resurrection from the dead. When Jesus died on the cross, He died to pay for our sins. In doing so, He made a way so that if we accept what He did as payment for our sins, then we can have a relationship with God. When Jesus rose from the dead, He conquered the finality of death, so that if we accept Him as our Lord, we will also someday conquer death and pass over into heaven and live with Him for eternity. Whether or not we ever get all that we wish for here — a spouse and children, personal fulfillment, a prestigious job — we can now have what is most important for eternity.
Proof of God’s love
If you’ve ever wondered whether or not someone loves you or wants you, or whether your life is really important, remind yourself of this story. Jesus actually died for you, going through terrible emotional and physical suffering, so that you can have a relationship with God, and so that you won’t suffer throughout eternity after we die. Because He has a purpose for every person, He did this for everyone, not just a select few.
If you’ve never accepted Christ as your Saviour, nor known the great love and purpose He has for you, please don’t live another moment with that emptiness that only He can fill.
How to make this choice for yourself
First, acknowledge to God that you have sinned and ask His forgiveness.
Second, believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins on the cross and rose from the dead in order to save you from the separation from God that your sin has created.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)
Then, by prayer invite Jesus Christ into your life as your Lord and Saviour, to control your life through His Holy Spirit. If you’ve already done this, but realize you are not allowing Him to be Lord of your life, repent of your unwillingness to follow Him at all costs, and resubmit your heart to Him.
That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. (Romans 10:9)
God’s purpose for your life
Whether you’ve just accepted Christ as your Saviour, or did so years ago, God has a special purpose for your life. This purpose isn’t dependent on your marital status, or whether you have children, or whether you have a prestigious job or position, or whether anyone else recognizes that you have value.
The number one purpose we have, and which supersedes and encompasses every other purpose God gives us, is to bring Him glory. We bring Him glory by living a life which is pleasing to Him, and we know what is pleasing to Him by reading and knowing His Word, the Bible. This can be anything from helping someone (“Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ” Galatians 6:2), to fulfilling the command Jesus gave to us before He went back to heaven to prepare a place for us there: “All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen” (Matthew 28:18-20).
This purpose as Christians to bring God glory can take many different forms, and our own personalities, interests, abilities, opportunities, situations, and so on all factor into how we fulfill this purpose. But the important thing is that we make this our number one purpose in life, and that all our decisions and thoughts and actions and words and attitudes revolve around this purpose to which He has called us:
In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will: That we should be to the praise of his glory, who first trusted in Christ. (Ephesians 1:11-12)Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. (I Corinthians 10:31)
If you’re still tempted to think that no one wants you, or that your life doesn’t have purpose, or that it doesn’t matter that you exist, think through these things again. Remember, Jesus loves you so much that He died a tortuous and agonizing death for you. Your Heavenly Father loves you so much that He planned this way for you to have a personal relationship with Him, by sending His own Son, Jesus, to die. Now that you have accepted this wonderful act of love for you, He has given you an important mission: to use your unique combination of personality and abilities and so on (which no one else has but you) to bring glory to the God who created you and loves you deeply.