7 Powerful Truths to Transform Your Life

7 Powerful Truths to Transform Your Life

Can you imagine being free from insecurity, loneliness, fear, anger, and hurt? What about inadequacy, discouragement, guilt, defeat, failure, hopelessness, depression, frustration, and confusion?

Can you then also imagine feeling fully loved and embraced? Can you imagine being full of joy and peace, and rarely feeling alone? What about being confident in who you are and what God has called you to, and that your needs of every kind will be provided? And what about feeling on top of all that a deep sense of purpose and fulfillment as you go about your day-to-day life?

Sound like utopia? In a way, it is. It’s what heaven will be like, without a doubt.

But I also believe that when Jesus said He came to earth “so that they may have life and have it in abundance”[1] it was for here on earth, too.  After all, our co-inheritance with Jesus begins the moment we accept His work on the cross for us and His righteousness as our own. Eternity begins now, and in many ways we can experience the joys of heaven on earth. The difference between heaven and earth is that evil is still present here on earth including within us, which we call our “sinful nature,” causing a continuous battle between good and evil. The good news is that in Jesus we can be “more than victorious”[2] in all those battles!

Our Enemy

The enemy of our souls, Satan, would love nothing more than to rob us of our abundant life in Jesus and render us ineffective in our God-given purpose. Just before Jesus said that He came to bring us life in abundance, he warned that Satan, who he called a thief, “comes only to steal and kill and destroy.”[3]

That thief is not nearly as powerful as he’d like us to think he is. Only God is sovereign and all-powerful. Satan has just one tool to use against us, deception, and you can be sure he has learned to use it quite effectively! After all, he is the father of lies, as Jesus pointed out to the Jewish leaders who refused to believe Jesus was the Messiah:

“You are of your father the Devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning and has not stood in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he tells a lie, he speaks from his own nature, because he is a liar and the father of liars.”[4]

It is Satan’s deception and lies and our choice to believe him which stand between us and abundant life here on earth. Part of his deception is that he presents his lies as truth and obscures the fact they come from him. He lies about who God is and what He’s like, about who we are, and about God’s relationship with us – because it is in believing these truths that we are set free to experience heaven on earth!

7 Powerful Truths About God, Ourselves, and God’s Relationship with Us

Entire books have been written about each one of these truths, and for good reason: they are vital to our perspective of God, ourselves, and His work in our lives. It is for this reason that Satan tries so hard to distort them. I encourage you to explore each one of these truths in Scripture, especially those which you find the most difficult to grasp and believe as true in your life:

Truth #1: God is all-powerful and all-knowing.

Truth #2:  God is always good and always has your best interests at heart.

Truth #3:  God loves you more than you can comprehend.

Truth #4:  God is always with you; He will never leave or forsake you.

Truth #5:  God has created you for a purpose and will provide all you need to fulfill it.

Truth #6:  God will provide all that you need physically, spiritually, emotionally, and relationally.

Truth #7: God is redemptive and will bring good out of everything.

 I believe if we would grasp even a fraction of what these truths mean, that insecurity, loneliness, inadequacy, fear, and all other negativity would vanish or at least cease to wield so much power over us.

I encourage you to copy this statement and post it where you can read it often until these truths become as much a part of you as the air you breathe:

“The sovereign God who is all-powerful and all-knowing loves me more than I can fathom and I am His beloved. I am never alone because He will never leave me or forsake me. He created me for a purpose and equips me with all I need to fulfill it. He provides all I need physically, spiritually, emotionally, and relationally. Everything He does is good and He causes everything in my life to work together for good. I know and believe all this to be true because He has promised it and He cannot lie. All His promises are true!”

So what is our part in all of this?

It’s very simple, really. It may be difficult at times, but still simple: full surrender to God, which means believing God’s truth over Satan’s lies about Him and about ourselves.  Satan will do all he can to make his lies appear to be true. But if we want to live life in all the fullness and abundance God intended for us, we must choose to believe God even when His promises appear to be false. That’s called faith, and without faith it is impossible to please God and experience all He has for us.

May you believe God’s truth with all your being and go forth today in the power and freedom of the abundant life Jesus came to give you! Remember, it was important enough to Him to leave Heaven to come to earth to die so you could have it. I pray it will be important enough to you to exchange your old life for the abundant life He has for you!

[1]John 10:10b HCSB

[2] Romans 8:37 HCSB

[3] John 10:10a HCSB

[4] John 8:44 HCSB

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Our Calling in Singleness

Calling in Singleness

Purpose. Calling. Mission. These words get thrown around and we don’t always know what they mean or how to differentiate between them.

When God created us He designed us for a unique purpose – one that is different from anyone else who has ever lived or ever will live. It is part of who we are – who He created us to be. It is something we can fulfill no matter our age or physical ability. As long as we have breath in these earthly bodies, we can be living our purpose. I’ve observed that when people know their life purpose and consciously live it, they experience freedom, fulfillment, and contentment. And that feelings of loneliness, defeat, and discouragement make only fleeting appearances, and usually only when one loses sight of their God-given purpose.

So what, then, is a Calling?

While our purpose has more to do with who we are, our calling or mission has more to do with what we do. Our purpose is lifelong and doesn’t change, from the time we take our first breath until we take our last. A calling or mission is God’s assignment for a specific period of time or to a certain group of people.

Lately, as I’ve written about before, I’ve become aware through reading Barry Danylak’s excellent book, Redeeming Singleness, that single Christians have a unique testimony to give the world: that a relationship with Jesus is all-sufficient and all-satisfying.

After reading Redeeming Singleness, I knew this intellectually and it excited me. But I didn’t actually own it until one night I woke with a jolt and a feeling of aloneness overwhelming me. I hadn’t felt that in a long time. Immediately I asked the Lord, “Why this feeling now, and why DID You choose singleness for me when I would have enjoyed the companionship of marriage?”

Immediately He replied, “So you could demonstrate to others that I am all-sufficient. That I am enough.” His presence was so real, and the feeling of aloneness disappeared. I was satisfied with His answer, and soon fell contentedly back to sleep.

Sometime soon after I wrote this in my journal:

My calling in singleness is to give witness that a relationship with Jesus is all-sufficient and all-satisfying and provides immeasurably more than all I can ask or imagine!

 In reality, this is God’s calling to every Christian, single and married alike. Expecting anyone or anything else to provide what we need, rather than God alone, is idolatry. God alone is our Provider. Sometimes – in fact, often – He uses another person as His instrument to meet our needs. But our needs being fulfilled isn’t dependent on the person God is using as His instrument, but rather on God Himself. If that person would disappear for whatever reason, God is still our Provider and will provide our needs by some other means.

But while all Christians are called to rely on God alone, single Christians have an especially effective testimony when they demonstrate that Jesus truly is all-sufficient in the absence of what most of the world considers to be a necessity for a satisfying life: a romantic or sexual relationship. When Christians remain celibate without a spouse or family and live joyful and purposeful lives sold out to Jesus, they give witness that Jesus is truly is all-sufficient and all-satisfying. Those who have lost spouses by death or divorce have incredibly powerful testimonies to Jesus’ all-sufficiency when they continue joyfully onward with the life purpose God has given them.

This doesn’t mean they shouldn’t grieve, or that never-married singles shouldn’t grieve over what never was. Grief is a God-given process for healing and it’s important we walk through it when we lose someone or something significant to us, including dreams that never come true.

Does Jesus Being All-sufficient Mean We Don’t Need People?

I know this can be a bit confusing, because we do need people! We don’t need marriage, but we do need relationships with others. After all, God said in Genesis 2:18 that it’s not good for man to be alone. At the time Adam had a face-to-face relationship with God, so he truly was experiencing God’s all-sufficiency, but God said he also needed other humans. Some think God meant it wasn’t good for Adam to not have a spouse, and if that were true for Adam in a perfect relationship with God, it’s true for all the rest of us, too.

But that’s not what God said. Adam was the only human being on the planet at the time. He needed another human to converse with and relate to in ways he couldn’t with the other creatures God had already created.

In Redeeming Singleness, Danylak writes:

Paul is not affirming [in 1 Corinthians 7] that it is good to be alone but only that, in appropriate circumstances, it is good not to marry. Conversely, when Genesis 2: 18 affirms that it is not good to live alone, marriage is given as a provision. But this does not imply that marriage was designed to be the sole provision for one’s aloneness. We recall that Jesus was a single man but not a man alone, one devoid of family and relationships. Although Paul may have had some extended time of solitude immediately after his conversion, he, like Jesus, was a man immersed in new family relationships. We are struck by how many different companions, partners, co-laborers, and underlings are mentioned from the period of his Gentile ministry. His use of family language is robust as he addresses those in his church constantly as “brothers” (Rom. 1:13; 1 Cor. 3:1; Gal. 4:12; Phil. 1:12; 1 Thess. 1:4), and “sisters” (Philem. 2), “children” (Gal. 4:19; 1 Cor. 4:14), “legitimate sons” (1 Tim. 1:2; Titus 1:4), and “kinsmen” (Rom. 16:7)…. Though Paul did not have his own wife and family, he experienced profound familial intimacy within the spiritual family of God in which he had utterly invested himself. [1]

Danylak goes on to explain the difference between these intimate relationships and the intimacy of marriage:

As men free to invest all their time and energy in advancing the kingdom of God, neither Paul nor Jesus lived a life alone. This is not to suggest that the relationships that come through the new family of God are a substitute for a spouse, a way to fill the relational gap of not having a spouse and family. There is something unique in God’s joining man and wife in “one flesh” that is never replicated in other types of human relationships. In remaining single, one sacrifices such physical intimacy.

But intimacy has other dimensions, beyond the physical. A bond of spiritual unity as brothers and sisters in Christ can emerge through a oneness of mind in corporate prayer and worship, a shared eternal hope, and a common mission of proclaiming the gospel and making disciples that also powerfully transcends human day-to-day experience. The freedom and flexibility of the single life will often open access to levels and opportunities of spiritual intimacy with other believers that those who are married do not have available in the same way and to the same degree.[2]

This, I believe, is part of the “immeasurably more” part of the singles’ calling (to give witness that a relationship with Jesus is all-sufficient and all-satisfying and provides immeasurably more than all I can ask or imagine). It is in reference to Ephesians 3:20-21 that says,

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Of course it means so much more, too! “Immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine” means it’s not definable, predictable, or measurable. After all, the Sovereign God is our Provider, who has the resources of the universe and beyond at His disposal to provide all that we need – in abundance!

How to Experience the All-sufficiency of Jesus

You may be wondering, “This all sounds wonderful, but I’m not feeling it. How do I make it a reality in my life?”

I totally get that! We often understand things in our heads, but can’t feel them in our hearts. Faith, after all, is not knowing things intellectually but experiencing them.

The key to experiencing the all-sufficiency of Jesus is simple, but it may be one of the most difficult things ever: full surrender to God – your will, your plans, your desires given in exchange for His. We can’t experience Jesus to be all-satisfying until we relinquish our goals and dreams in exchange for His for us. The incredible thing is, no matter how wonderful we think our goals and dreams are, His goals and dreams for us are incredibly more wonderful – immeasurably more, in fact!

Oswald Chambers says it this way in My Utmost for His Highest:

‘If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself.’ The surrender here is of my self to Jesus, my self with His rest at the heart of it. ‘If you would be My disciple, give up your right to yourself to Me.’ Then the remainder of the life is nothing but the manifestation of this surrender. When once the surrender has taken place we never need ‘suppose’ anything. We do not need to care what our circumstances are, Jesus is amply sufficient.[3]

Amply sufficient. Can you give witness that Jesus is amply sufficient and more? That He is all-satisfying? If you haven’t yet experienced this abundant life in Jesus, take a look at what you might be holding back. Are you hanging onto a specific dream or goal? Perhaps one you’ve had since childhood? I know I was! The abundant life is found in relinquishing those dreams and saying, “God, I don’t know what You have planned for me, but I KNOW that it is good, and that it is ‘immeasurably more than all I could ever ask or imagine!’”

[1] Danylak, Barry. Redeeming Singleness (Foreword by John Piper): How the Storyline of Scripture Affirms the Single Life (pp. 201-202). Crossway. Kindle Edition.

[2] Danylak, Barry. Redeeming Singleness (Foreword by John Piper): How the Storyline of Scripture Affirms the Single Life(pp. 202-203). Crossway. Kindle Edition.

[3] Chambers, Oswald. My Utmost for His Highest, Classic Edition (Kindle Locations 4142-4145). Discovery House. Kindle Edition.


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An All-Satisfying Relationship – Is it Possible?

Relationship with Jesus: all-sufficient and all-satisfying!

“But you – you get to show what Jesus is like without depending on anyone else!” my friend’s eyes shone as she excitedly pointed out the beautiful message that a single Christian is privileged to give to the world: that a relationship with Jesus is all-sufficient and all-satisfying!

Months before she had given me the book, Redeeming Singleness by Barry Danylak, and urged me to read it (which turned out to be a life-changing book for me). Married but childless, my friend knows the stigma that accompanies those of us in the Christian world who don’t fit into the idealized (and dare I say too-often idolized?) married-with-children category, and knows the encouragement we need to be to each other.

I would venture to say that most people long to have an all-satisfying relationship with someone, and for good reason: we were created to experience and enjoy such a relationship. Adam and Eve had it before they sinned – both with God and with each other. It was perfect.

Today, many imagine that a romantic relationship will fulfill this deep longing. And once that relationship is consummated in marriage, they eagerly anticipate – and sometimes go to great lengths to make happen – the next relationship they believe will complete them – having a child and forming a family. The child comes and perhaps another and another. But the experience of satisfaction is hardly all-encompassing or permanent. It is marred by the imperfection of each being that forms their family unit – beings that come with the sinful nature fully intact.

Still, the family is God’s perfect design for continuing the human race and nurturing children to adulthood, and it’s a good one. But He never created it to be what many anticipate and assert it to be: an all-sufficient and all-satisfying relationship unit. In fact, such claims and attempts to find that all-sufficiency in marriage or the family is idolatrous.

God has already given to each person the opportunity to experience an all-sufficient and all-satisfying relationship, and that is with Him because of Jesus. While sin destroyed that perfect relationship He had with Adam and Eve, Jesus restored it, and offers it to everyone, single and married alike!

But what’s that part in Ephesians 5 about marriage being like Christ and the church? Doesn’t that indicate that if we’re single we’re missing out?

Absolutely not! We’re not missing out on the real thing (relationship with Jesus), just the symbolism of the real thing that earthly marriage is meant to portray.

And that is what my friend was pointing out to me from her perspective as a married woman: yes, it is a beautiful thing and a privilege to be able to portray the covenant love between Christ and His Bride the Church, but because it involves two imperfect human beings, it isn’t always easy to do. The Apostle Paul said something similar in 1 Corinthians 7 – marriage doesn’t come without trouble and difficulties.

And that’s when she said to me, “But you – you get to show what an all-sufficient and all-satisfying relationship with Jesus is like without depending on anyone else!”

“Yup, just me and my imperfections, which are plenty!” I’ve often thought as I’ve pondered her words. And singleness certainly comes with its own set of trouble and difficulties. I’m not interested in trying to determine who has it easier and who has it worse: married people or singles. God has a purpose for both, and as long as we’re in this fallen world with sinful natures, neither will be perfect and each will have its set of troubles.

But each also has a purpose to give witness to the world what a real relationship with Jesus is like: the covenantal aspect that marriage exemplifies; or the completeness in Jesus alone that singleness portrays. This witness, whether married or single, doesn’t come automatically. It only comes as we grow deeper in our relationship with Jesus and surrender ourselves completely to Him.

Knowing Jesus More Fully

I haven’t always experienced the all-sufficiency of Jesus, and to be fully honest, I don’t always now. It is there for my taking, but I don’t always take it. As I was reading the book of Philippians, a letter written by the Apostle Paul (who was also single) to the church at Philippi, I realized he didn’t always, either. But learning to know Jesus fully was a continual goal of his:

 “I also consider everything to be a loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord…. My goal is to know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings …. Not that I have already reached the goal or am already fully mature, but I make every effort to take hold of it because I also have been taken hold of by Christ Jesus. Brothers, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly call in Christ Jesus. Therefore, all who are mature should think this way. And if you think differently about anything, God will reveal this also to you. In any case, we should live up to whatever truth we have attained.” (from Philippians 4 HCSB)

I love this passage because while Paul is telling about his own personal goal to know Jesus and encouraging his readers to have the same goal, he’s also pointing out that it is a journey as we mature in our relationship with Jesus and realize He has already “taken hold” of us!

If you feel like you haven’t yet experienced the all-sufficiency and all-satisfaction of a relationship with Jesus, let alone fully given testimony to the world what a relationship with Jesus is like, don’t despair! It truly is a journey and a process of sanctification by the Holy Spirit within us. But as we surrender everything to Him more and more, the satisfaction in Him deepens, and so does out witness to those around us.

In the meantime, let’s get a vision for the beautiful privilege we have as singles of showing the world that Jesus alone completes us, and that it is only in Jesus that anyone can experience an all-sufficient and all-satisfying relationship!

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Finding Your Calling!

Jesus didn't "call" Peter to walk on water, Peter asked Jesus to call him! What amazing things could we do if we asked Jesus to call and empower us to do them?! -Fern Horst on singleness.org


Imagine being in a boat around three in the morning about a mile or so from shore. You’re crossing a huge lake with 11 of your friends, having left one behind to pray.

Suddenly the wind picks up and your boat is being tossed about like a toy! You and your friends are terrified and cling to the sides of the boat. And then you see something that terrifies you even more – a figure that looks like a ghost is walking across the water straight toward you! You close your eyes for a moment hoping it will go away, thinking surely you’re just imagining this apparition.

But then one of your friends sees it, too, and shouts, “It’s a ghost!”

Your eyes fly open! All your friends are pointing at the ghost-like figure coming closer and closer. You know now it’s not your imagination at all!

“Have courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid!” shouted the figure. You and your friends recognize the voice. It belongs to your friend and mentor, the one who had stayed behind to pray.

Doubt fills your mind, but a deep desire fills your soul. If he could walk on water, why couldn’t you?

“If it’s truly you,” you shout over the noise of the crashing waves, hoping he can hear you, “tell me to come to you on the water!”

“Come!” he shouts back, beckoning with both hands, overjoyed that you want to join him on this crazy adventure.

You climb out of the boat and with amazement find yourself walking across the waves toward your friend! You feel exhilarated, empowered, and free! This is awesome!

 At that very moment a huge wave comes toward you from the side and you glance its way. Terror replaces the exhilaration. You feel your legs turn to jelly and start sinking rapidly below the surface of the water!

“Save me!” you shout to your friend, reaching toward him.

Immediately he grabs you and pulls you back up. You find your footing on the turbulent water. This is incredible, you think, as together you climb into the rocking boat.

In that instant another amazing thing happens. The wind stops and the water becomes calm and still. You look in awe at your friend and realize, as you have before, that there is something supernatural and divine about him. He’s not your ordinary Jewish man. This is Jesus, God’s Son, and you know it now with more certainty than ever. You and your other friends respond with the only act that makes sense in that moment: you worship Him!

Imagine having such an experience! You likely recognize this story as that of Jesus and Peter walking on the water. [1] It’s a Bible story we’ve heard many times, and yet in the familiarity of it we lose our amazement of what actually took place.

We’re also likely familiar with the usual insights gleaned from this story. I’ve often been encouraged by it to keep my eyes on Jesus, because when I don’t I start to drown in the overwhelm of life just as Peter almost drowned.

But yesterday something new struck me: Jesus didn’t “call” Peter to walk on the water, Peter asked Jesus to “call” him! Peter saw what Jesus was able to do and wanted to do it, too! Peter’s act of faith didn’t begin when he climbed out of the boat, it began when he asked Jesus if He would call him to come. And then Peter waited to get out of the boat until Jesus called him, because he knew he couldn’t walk across water on his own and not sink. He needed Jesus’ empowerment.

It made me wonder: what amazing things could we do if we asked Jesus to call and empower us to do them?!

What if we would do the same as Peter did, and ask Jesus to call us to do what we most desire to do? What if we would believe as Peter did, that with Jesus’ empowerment we can do whatever Jesus is doing and has put in our hearts to do?

We tend to live our lives doing the mundane, matching it to what we think is “normal,” and struggling to find joy and contentment in it. We wait and wait for a “call” from God so we know what to do with our lives. Meanwhile we ignore the many desires and interests God has already given us because we’re waiting for His call. We find ourselves becoming more and more dissatisfied with our lives.

But what if when God created us He already placed within our hearts, souls, and beings the desire for what He created us to do? What if He is just waiting for us to discover those desires and to ask Him to call and empower us before He provides the opportunities to do them?

Perhaps you already know what you desire to do and even have opportunities to do it, but you’re afraid you might fail. The amazing thing is that when Jesus creates us for something and calls us to do it, we can’t fail! If we start out and get discouraged He is always there to help us find our footing again. If we face huge waves of opposition, He will continue to empower us in spite of them.

So what are we waiting for?!

We tend to fall in one of three categories:

  1. We know what God created us for and we’re doing it!
  2. We know what God created us to do, but we’re allowing something like fear, uncertainty, finances, or our single status to hold us back.
  3. We really don’t know what God created us to do.

Community to Help Us

 No matter which of the three categories you identify with, as a single you may be feeling the lack of community or connection with others to give you support in living your purpose, knowing how to get started in it, or figuring out what it is.

That’s why I’ll soon be opening a 24/7 Membership Community on the Purposeful Singleness website. I know first-hand the feelings of isolation and disconnection from the Body of Christ, as well as the empowerment of finding connection and a place of belonging with fellow Christians. Whether you feel connected or disconnected, it’s always great to have those in similar walks of life to encourage and support us.

Finding Your Life Purpose and Living It

As I’ve mentioned before, my cousin and Life Coach Shari Baer is generously offering her services here on Purposeful Singleness. A number of you have taken advantage of this offer and have benefited from meeting with her via phone or Skype to discover your life purpose and to know how to move forward in it to live the abundant life Jesus came to give you! I want more to experience that life in abundance!

Expanded Resources and Services

As I’ve also mentioned before, this summer I took training to be a Life Coach and am excited to soon be able to offer my services here on Purposeful Singleness! Shari and I recognize that some of you may benefit from meeting with a Coach who is also single to work through those aspects of singleness that may be holding you back from moving forward in life. However, Shari will still be available with her experience for me to consult with , as well as to continue to coach those of you who would prefer a more experienced Life Coach. She is one of the best!

Stay Tuned!

All of these new and exciting things are being worked at behind the scenes. I’m so excited to be able to soon launch these new features of Purposeful Singleness and don’t want you to miss out! If you aren’t already subscribed to the mailing list, be sure to subscribe using the form below, and to click on the link in the email you receive almost immediately, to confirm your desire to be on the mailing list so you don’t miss out on any new information and announcements!

I’m looking forward to ALL God has for each one of us, and to seeing God empower singles all around the globe to do the work He created us to do!

[1] Matthew 14:22-36

What do you think? Tell us in the comments section below!

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